Saturday, July 11, 2009

I did it

So I finally caved in and bought two pretty, light-weight dresses from Meijers. Both are extra large (I am such a fatty *SOB*) and black and white patterned. I LOVE 'EM!

I just wish I could wear them now, not in a few months...or even years. Yikes!

I just want to be who I am! Why can't I do that! ... Oh yeah, it's because I don't want to lose all my Christian friends and my family too. That, plus risk going against God and not bringing Him glory through my testimony anymore. What should I do? Be myself and find happiness, or be a man and "rub some dirt on it" and NOT be myself 'cause God might send me to Hell?

I am officially finding a therapist and figuring out my gender issue! I am tired of my feeling of despair and hopelessness.

If anyone reads this, just give me your story and maybe it will help me.


P.S. I am looking for latex leggings, or some falsies (false latex leggings). Any idea wear to shop?


  1. Have you tried looking in adult novelty shops? They have tons of latex clothing. Just a thought. Not sure if you have Condom Sense or Priscilla's up there? Those two stores are chains here in Texas, and they would probably carry them. Hope you find them. Do you think that losing the family and friends would be permanent if they knew? Not sure about your family, but I am guessing that they would temporarily freak out but then come around eventually.... I don't know them though and you do. If they can't accept you, than who needs them anyway? If they tell you they love you, do you secretly say to yourself "You wouldn't love me if you knew the truth." If that is what happens, then who needs that kind of love anyway??? I love you no matter what. No idea about being able to spread the word of the Lord, but the church I go to whole heartedly believes that EVERYBODY is loved by God regardless of Transgender, Gay, Lesbian, Polygamist etc. We love everyone here. You would love it. :)
    Big Hugs to you sister...
    May God bless you with the strength and clarity to hold up under scrutiny (including your own) and to stand strong against prejudices and bigotry. ((BIG HUGS))

  2. I'm glad you had a nice shopping experience at Meijer. I'm a corporate employee there, transitioned to fulltime last August, and have enjoyed a huge amount of love and support from the company. They have an official stance of trans-friendliness...if you ever have any problems, let me know.