Letter to the Bathroom Crazies

I liked that video of yours. It makes a good, strong point.

Men should not be allowed entrance into a womens bathroom.

Obvious reasons.

But here's the catch: this was about men who no longer behaved, dressed and assumed male roles. This was about transsexuals, not men trying to get free porn.

Most transsexuals go through a hormone replacement routine. This causes all sort of things to happen, one of which is the effect it has on the man's penis.

Estrogen and Anti-androgens will eventually make him placid, and definitely not sexually aroused so easily. There will be no rape, no molestation, no sexual encounters at all for true transsexuals.

It is true that some transsexuals keep their orientation towards women, but if that's the case, then a law should ban gay women! THEY are more dangerous in the realm of sexual assault in a womens bathroom then the transsexuals touching up their faces in the mirrors. They are just as dangerous to sexually corner a "helpless" woman in the bathroom, as any deviant male. Yet alas, not all lesbians are sexual prowlers either. See where this is going?

As for the children...are you implying that men want to hurt them?
I love kids, and I am transgender. I remain a man, though, and fight for our rights where my sisters cannot. In the animal kingdom, most males will eat or kill the young of a female if they are not his. If men are animals, then there should be a law to have us on leashes and kept in the backyard. ...>->
Yet, if men are animals, then women are too. Women are just as capable of evil things as men. I should know.

If a predator wants to sexually attack a woman in a public restroom, he most often doesn't care two-licks about the kids she is with. This is just a fact of criminal investigations.

Also, men who wish harm against women sexually or otherwise will NOT be hindered by the sign on the door that says "Women Only" anyway.

Well, I don't know what else to rant about at the moment, so I am done.

Please understand, I am a Christian too. I know where you are coming from on this matter, but you need to see it for the way it truly is, not through your fears of the possible unknown.

Thanks for even reading this.

Sincerely,

'Rachel'

Hormonal Herbicide and Silly Spirits

So.........I am taking herbal hormonal suppliments again. This stuff is called Evanesce. I heard it is pretty good. We'll see. I read their info on the website.
It isn't like I am going all-out or anything, I just want to get my sanity back a little. Imagine being a man and living like a man, and looking like a man, and just flat-out doing man stuff. Then imagine that you're a woman inside. Like a woman in your head, heart and being, but since you have lived the "MAN" life so long, and made a decent world of friends, family and work around you that being a man isn't that bad anymore, yet...yet you need to be who you are and in doing so invokes a world of shit. So you take female hormones in herbal form, which are not so strong, but they work. You want to be more feminine in your appearance and life, but not kill the "jewels" right away. I'm preaching to the choir. ha ha ha ha

Yea, so okay. You all know what I am talking about. :)

I had a dream last night that was a bit odd. All dreams are a bit odd, I guess, but it had a part that stuck out to me. Besides being lost in New York City, being a dishwasher in my mother's house-restaurant, and getting upset that my friends from a long time ago were trying to steal my car while I went to class and didn't want to be late or absent...the part was about avoiding the elevator in some apartment building at certain times because something evil lived beneath it and would ghost it's way up and down the shaft, possessing people!

Well, I mentioned to a buddy in my dream that "wouldn't it be swell if there was a movie about ghosts possessing people and doing things with their lives to improve them? When the person's life is much better, the ghost leaves the body and then the person wakes up and is astonished at what has happened and doesn't know how they got there? Well, what if one of the ghosts on crew was a screw up with a big heart? This ghost would get assigned a person and then think that it is helping to make their life better, but in reality, it would be messing it up more or making it weirder!" The dream friend thought it was a cool idea. ha ha ha

Blogs Daily

So, I feel bad that I don't get on Blogger often enough and write stuff for people to be entertained. Honestly, I feel like I am not fulfilling my "Blogger Quota".
I will try harder to remember to step away from my busy life and write out a few thoughts for anyone who cares.

I'm not bitchN here, just feel like I have been denying people their American right to know about my life more. LOL! Gee, I DO sound like I am bitchN!

Okay, so i will get on Blogger more often and write something, even if it is a silly dream I had.

Love all of ya!

Rachel

Every Time

I met a nice girl at Church today. She was very interesting, and interested in me. She was pretty and seemed to keep her eyes on my eyes. I thought "Wow. I just might actually hook-up". Then she got a call and answered it like this: "Oh, Hi, how are you tonight"?

Damnit. That's language any guy can understand. She's already got a boyfriend.

Oh well, it was fun flirting. She'd eventually find out I had "another" side to me and freak-out, so I guess it was for the best she was not for me. Still...*sigh*.

The 500 Dollar Question

First, allow me to "vent" some stress. I was given a 500 dollar academic scholarship and now they are taking it back. In fact, they may be revoking all of my stafford loans. How? Why? Apparently, when I got removed from a class on some ridiculous theology discussion, I was a part-time student. But now, since that 3-credit class has been forcefully removed from my schedule, I am being told that my scholarship is going bye-bye, and so are my stafford loans, since I am no longer at least 6 credits to be called a "part-timer". I have only 5 credits right now. WTF.

And now for some deeper thoughts.

I look around me and see the men and women of the world, working, moving around, doing this-and-that...trying to survive as comfortable as possible. I wonder: how many of these men and women were once the opposite sex? Strangely enough, I think this. I haven't met anyone who has been too wreckless with their stealth, or anyone who has been out for a while, but no one can tell the difference anymore by looking. I really wish I could sit down and eat a meal with some people like me.

Like me? Sure, why not? I guess I am not quite transsexual anymore, since I do not take hormones (regular basis - I KNOW - I shouldn't play with that stuff) and dress up as a daily ritual to shock the masses at my Bible college. No, I am more like the transsexual who REALLY FLIPPING WANTS TO BE WHO I AM INSIDE but chooses not to in case it will piss God off. Infact (In + Fact should be one word, I think. It'll catch on hopefully), I don't want to lose any chance I have for a normal life. I have to be honest...I really don't have a clue as to what that means, but I really really want it.

Some "women" are just so damn beautiful. They pulled it off (haha). I envy them. How I long to be beautiful as well! Arg!!!!! Nope. Not me. Can never be. I could take all the hormones in the world and still be a large, muscular person with a deep voice and big hands and feet. Cosmetic surgery would only do so much for me, especially since I am a low-budget type of person. I just can't afford things like that! Anyways, I REALLY wish and pray to God EVERYDAY that He would either kill me or turn me into the person He wants me to be. I am hoping dearly that it has something to do with lip gloss and nail polish. I pray for God to give me direction and to use me for His Kingdom, but hopefully, I can do it as a woman. Why not? God can use ANYONE from ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. God is God.

Ever wish you were Gay? I do. It would be far easier for me to justify my transitioning and help others see that I was really a woman from the get-go. I know, I know, it wouldn't necessarily be easier as a homosexual, and I know for a fact that my faith says that I would be a damned soul for practicing it, but...ya know. I just feel it would be more beneficial to me than liking girls. I HATE that I like girls. So confusing sometimes! For instance, I could be talking to a girl about shades of eyeshadow that goes with a gown, then in that moment of pleasant, natural, girl-to-girl communication, I get all horny! And instead of thinking about how great she looks and how many heads will turn when she goes out, I want to sleep with her and wear the damn eyeshadow doing it! I think I need to see a shrink.

Well, I really need to climb into bed, which by-the-way, is completely pink satin.
Yea, I know...it's very girly. Maybe too girly, like, "sissy" or something, but it's the only thing I have left of my relationship with my "inner fem". I lose that, I lose really wonderful sleeping comfort!...and possibly would have to go out dressed like a woman and get kicked out of college. I am just three months away from graduating. I gotta stay focused for now. Privacy and public MUST stay separate.

Go-Go-Gadget-Get-the-fuke-out-of-my-class!

I got kicked-out of my Theology class today. I haven't been kicked-out of a class since High School! What happened? Well, as a student enrolled in this course, it is my responsibility to post my response on our college course site to our current reading assignment. Simple enough. I made a comment about how this class just talks about the mysteries of God, going full-circle, and not getting anywhere but more confused. Alas, I am not going to be a preacher-man, nor will I need to know this to save my life someday (ironically, it might happen - lol), but this course was a bad idea at this point. I LOVE discussing theology with others, and challenging what they believe, but apparently my professor was not pleased with my post, felt that I had trashed-talked about it and insulted him, so he dismissed me before he started class. I left unashamedly, but embarrassed. I cannot apologize again...I apologized on my post later before class. Did he read my apology? He is the professor, and I am his student, but I cannot put myself so low that I have no respect for myself anymore. I apologized, but kept to my guns. Maybe he will let me back in if I kiss his ass in front of everyone and take ten lashings in the back?
Maybe. Well, I am not going to let this bother me too much anymore. I need to go do my cleaning job and pray for a car...since I have no amount of serious work hours and cannot get a better job, money is super-tight and a car seems to be impossible to save for, so...PRAYER!!! (I wonder if anyone reads these blogs)?

Dreams are Crazy!

Okay, so I had another dream last night. This time, it was I would go to sleep in my dream and then do random dream things with my friends. It was weird and fun! I remember that I was about to wake up and I looked to my friend Kate and said that "as soon as I wake up, we might forget all this happened...in fact, you might not even be real". She just smiled at me and said "No, no, we will remember and see eachother again". So I woke up, but when I went to her apartment, she was still sleeping! So I had to act fast. Something was wrong. I told her roommate that he had to put me to sleep in order to save Kate. I went to sleep and found her tied up by some weird dream goblins, or something. I tried to fight off these bogeys but they were too quick. I eventually came to the realization that I was dreaming again (you see, you forget that you are dreaming, and as soon as you realize you are, a timer begins that awakes you physically, but you also get some, if not all, contol). So, I beat the crap out of these creatures and used my body heat to burn 'em up! I saved her and we fled to the Magic Woods (?). There, we told eachother that to find our way out, we had to become different people and then go into a horror comic book individually and fight the monsters there that are tormenting children all over the world. So, I agreed and became a girl. I seriously don't know who, or even what I looked like...use your imaginations! She became Spider-man...I think...and we did what we had to do in order to save the children and get out of Dream World. I think we pulled it off. I woke up and she was there holding my hand smiling. Then I woke up FOR REAL. What a strange, yet delightful dream experience! ^_^